Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Mental note to self - add Crime Fighting to Skills section of resume

So, along with my many talents of house-girlfriend-ery and ass scratching, I can now add crime fighting to my list of accomplished skills.

We just got back from a trip to Italy, and I actually stopped a crime from happening there. That’s right, I know you’re surprised, but I used my super-human strength, panther-like reflexes and unparalleled ability to make life-altering decisions in the split of a second to stop a pick-pocket from stealing a girl’s wallet from her backpack.

I won’t tell you the details, but let’s just say creating a scene was involved, which is really something out of my element.

The Mayor of Milan is going to name a street after me and he presented me with an official State Medal (which matches perfectly with my Super-Hero costume – nothing but style in Milan!).

I spent the rest of my vacation signing autographs, kissing babies, saving cats out of trees and dumping large quantities of money into the Italian economy for shoes, bags and belts. I know, there’s no end to my generosity.

11 comments:

Cher Ping said...

hope you managed to clobber that lowlife into a pile of little pieces before the police arrived.

Spawn said...

I almost had it! Thanks for blowing up my spot.....goshhhhhhhh

carrotpenis said...

You go girl!

Big Kahuna said...

Leap Shopping Malls in a single bound?

Anonymous said...

A "vacation" in Italy? I hope you got some R&R from from your hardscrabble life in Greece!

Doug said...

Where the heck is the blog about the Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse??? - The Doug of Great Neck

Anonymous said...

I have a small dick
would you let me put it in for about 5 minutes and then we will use your rabbit to finish
you fucking shiksa

Hannah said...

Well done, you. I hope she bought you a drink to say thank you.

Babushka said...

Hello!

First time visitor here. . . No wonder Kahuna likes your blog so much! Nice reading! Great job with the lowlife!

Anonymous said...

You never cease to amaze! From contract review to contract hits! The Punisher will be jealous!

Have a great day, N!

JRC, Esq., nee WEMED

Anonymous said...

Where are you???? You haven't posted in 4 months! Give us an update.