Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Bathings suits, check. Tank tops and shorts, check. Kevlar body armor, check.

So I'll be arriving in Greece on Saturday morning, and meeting my European Lover's parents on Saturday evening, at a wedding where my European Lover is the Best Man.

Good thing is, they don't speak any English. Bad thing is, they're going to judge me on my behavior instead. I don't think anyone is too keen on having a daughter-in-law who goes drink for drink with their son. Maybe I'll refrain, ok TRY to refrain, from dancing on any furniture at the reception.

I'll definitely refrain, ok ok TRY to refrain, from drinking too much as well.

My mother insists I wear something eye-catching and fancy. I'm thinking, simple black cocktail dress might throw them off long enough to think I'm a nice girl, at least as a first impression. I'll have lots of time to disabuse them of that notion later. They've got plenty of time to get to hate the real me, why ruin a perfectly good party.

I usually take this sort of thing in stride. It's not that big of a deal for me to meet a guy's parents. I always know the outcome anyway: Dad loves me, mom hates me. Same with siblings: Brothers love me, sisters want to see me get hit by a car. Repeatedly.

I'm not quite sure why it's always like that, but there seems to be something about me that's very off-putting to women who don't know me. I definitely don't have that problem with men. It's very easy for me to make male friends, hang out, chit chat it up, have a great time out. Maybe women sense that I don't have the patience to sit through "Girl Drama", a play of endless acts and costume changes, with worse billing than Cats.

The European Lover's brother likes me. He's quite charming actually and there are no sisters in the picture. Thank goodness. So, most likely, only one member of the family would like to see me on the bottom of the Mediterranean. And I don't think his mom is strong enough to hold me under water long enough for me to drown. I could probably take her.

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

I would say its the boobs. No, I'm not trying to be nasty, but think about it. Guys like attractive women. Girls view them as competition.

Let me know if you need any more of my deep insights.

Damian said...

I have the same problem with my girlfriends and their dads. Mom's like to judge potential daughter-in-law's (even after marriage) and dad's always want to protect their little girl.

Best of luck in Greece!

P.S. Go with the simple black dress and ask for extra of the non-alcoholic liquids in your drinks

Anonymous said...

Don't stress about it--> the Greeks are born party people. As I'm sure you know, they are very colourful folk, so go with a bright dress for the wedding but nothing too outrageous. Black might look somewhat depressing & dowdy. Drink lots of oozo & say "Opa" as much as you can. Besides, if you do end up with this guy for life, you'll never have to have an indepth conversation with his mother, so who really cares what she thinks anyway? Just be yourself, you can't pretend to be something that you're not for extended periods of time.

TC said...

Don't forget to break the customary plates.

Grins said...

This is probably why I enjoy you so much...I too get along with men better than women in most cases. My female friends tend to be strong independent types. Often successful or on their way to being so.

I'm thinking the Greek mom is going to be eyeing you up to see if you have hips for birthing babies. Be sure to swivel them a bunch when you're on the table breaking plates while shouting "OOOMPA!" (I think that is what is shouted)

Hannah said...

So long as you eat plenty, drink plenty (although steer clear of the retsina and the ouzo - both FILTHY creations) and party plenty, I'm sure she'll love you.

If not, then you've eaten plenty, drunk plenty and partied plenty. Win win.

LJ said...

I agree with most of the comments - eat, drink, be merry, and have a good time. By the way, are you coming back, or getting hitched and staying in Greece as a lady of leisure? heh

FrumGirl said...

I totally relate. Guys get along wtih me so well, women dislike me until they open up to gettng to know me... our gender is catty... nothing you can do about it....

Good luck in Greece! Sounds like a dream!

Noojes said...

oooh sounds like fun

Just be yourself and im sure she will love u in time :)

noojes

carrotpenis said...

Get drunk and make a scene. The mother isn't going to like you anyway. You might as well give her a good reason and have a good time to boot.

Grins said...

Has anyone heard from our girl?

Anonymous said...

how was the sex over there in Greece?

Anonymous said...

Tell us girls about the sex. Are Greek men concerned lovers or do they just look for their pleasure. Are you a clit -girl like me?

Anonymous said...

thank god someone else knows its te boobs. Uh, duh. Of COURSE its the boobs. Guys love you b/c they want to f*ck you. Girls hate you b/c the guys want to f*ck you. No big mysteries there.