Friday, September 22, 2006

Office Stalker Quotes of the Day - Weekly Wrap Up

Monday
Am I ever going to see your boobs?!

I love anal. I bet I could make you love anal too.

Tuesday
You know, you just have to say the word, and you could be having sex with ME in three minutes.

Come on, just give me a little peek….

Wanna touch my muscle? Come on, touch it.

Wednesday
You know, I actually feel really really sorry for you that you'll never experience the mind-blowing, life altering sex you could have with me. But I guess I HAVE to believe you when you say you're in love with someone else.

Thursday
This girl I went out with sent me a text. She's really into me, but I'm just not interested, so I told her I'm in dating mode and not relationship mode. She became VERY upset. Doing the right thing is so hard. Women misinterpret my charm and warmth etc (stuff I can't write in an email …) they fall for me. I feel awful about it.

Friday
Just one boob? How about only the nipple?

12 comments:

Jack Burden said...

Just Taser the guy. Please. Something non-permanent but painful.

Julene said...

"I thought your right hand looked happy. Now I know why."

Jess said...

Wow. What a charmer.

Anonymous said...

I'm with Jack. Some kind of electric cattle-prod device is what's called for.

SUEB0B said...

Oh good god, skip the taser and threaten with legal. This is totally against the law.

Anonymous said...

so did you show him one?

Michelle Yasharpour said...

shana tova- at least he serves as comic relief

Anonymous said...

I find it hard to believe that a woman like you takes that crap from a guy.

SimoneladybugKnits said...

How annoying. What about if Accidentally you spill coffee on his manhood,that should be funny and repell him for a while.

carrotpenis said...

Did he say in 3 minutes or for 3 minutes? I am guessing that both are true anyway.

LJ said...

I'm all for some random entertaining comments from inappropriate coworkers, but DAMN! This guy has crossed a line - even for me! Please tell me he writes these things to your inter-office email address?? Wow, he sure does have some balls.

And? I'm back around. Glad to see you are still here!

Chris said...

You know, you just have to say the word, and you could be having sex with ME in three minutes.

You shoulda told him that you would agree to that if he would bet that he could last LONGER than 3 minutes and if he couldn't, you get to staple his "doo dads" to the wall with a nail gun.

Chris
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