Thursday, April 12, 2007

Mr. Opportunity doesn't know my name

So I joined a new website and no, it's not an on-line dating site. Well, it could be, but that's not what I'm doing. I'm using the "networking/just friends" option. Really. No, I'm serious. Whatever, don't believe me.

It's actually a site for Jews, called The Chosen People. No, I'm kidding, it's actually called, We Really Do Think We're Better Than You and Hollywood IS Ours, So Suck It Mel Gibson.

I've found after chatting with people, ok, not exactly people, after chatting with men, yes MEN, (are you happy now?!) from all over, ok, that too is a lie, because I've been mainly chatting with men from Italy and England (**deep sigh**) and not from any scary eastern-block countries with Borat look-a-likes, that it's not easy being Jewish outside of New York, LA and Miami.

In New York, it's easy to take for granted that pretty much everyone you meet is from somewhere else, always different faces, nationalities, languages, colors, cultures. No big deal, we all get along.

For example, when my mom's best friend's non-Jewish husband passed away, the services were held in a Synagogue. When I asked her how come, she replied, "He's been living in New York for almost 40 years. It doesn't get more Jewish than that for Christ's sake!"

It appears though, that these men encounter a significant amount of anti-semitism in their respective countries when it comes to dating. And not necessarily because they are looking for Jewish women, but because the families of the non-Jewish women they date refuse to accept them. That sucks.

I mean, I know Jewish families that won't allow their kids to go out with non-Jews, but that's obvious, because we're the Chosen People, and that affords us certain privileges, like rejecting inferior religions.

But these poor guys? I feel terrible, I want to just hold them all to my heaving bosom, and make them feel better. Come to Momma, baby.

If I'd only known there were so many available Italian and English Jewish men just looking for a nice girl. I could have pretended to be a nice girl. At least for a little while. Ok, maybe not.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

PLEASE, ENOUGH ABOUT THE JEWS ALREADY. YOUR RELIGION IS BASED ON LIES AND NON-ACCEPTANCE. YOUR DIRTY, SMELLY, SELF-CENTERED PEOPLE WHO THINK THEY ACTUALLY RUN SHIT. REMEMBER YOUR PEOPLE WERE SLAVES LONG BEFORE THE BLACKS WERE AND YOU STILL ARE SLAVES TO A DYING RELIGION. YOU WOULDN'T EVEN HAVE YOUR OWN COUNRTY IF IT WASN'T FOR THE ALLIED FORCES OF WHITE CHRISTIANS. ISREAL CAN'T EVEN STOP 3RD WORLD COUNTRIES FROM FIRING ROCKETS AT THEM. YOUR RIGHT ABOUT ONE THING THOUGH, THEY ARE GOOD AND RUNNING SOMETHING.........THEIR MOUTHS.( WE KNOW ITS NOT RUNNING WATER OVER THEIR BODIES TO GET CLEAN)

Starboard Tack said...

Those "Jewish men just looking for a nice girl" really want one who appears nice around friends and family -- but is naughty at her core.

I would imagine that is a trick you could accomplish...

Anonymous said...

I'd much rather a Jewish bitch.

Would do much more for me than a docile woman.

At least a Jewbitch wouldn't let me become too lazy about important things. She would actually try to instigate me to further shapen myself... even if it is only to survive her onslaught of fucked up emotional craziness.

Spawn said...

Hi, spawn here. Normally I wouldn't even bother responding to anti-semitic scumtards (scumtards my new word fusion, scumbag + retard, try it out - its fun catching people off guard with it) but this scumtard is the scumtard of allllll scumtards! I mean, I wasn't quite sure if I should put on my "Vote for Scumtard" t-shirt or take a shower, since I'm a dirty Jew. What the scumtard failed to realize was that us Jews can't "run water over our bodies to get clean" cause we would melt. DUH. Hasnt King Scumtard ever seen The Wizard of Oz??? Clearly the wicked witch of the west was Jewish, she was evil and angry and green. OH MY. Oh and King Scumtard if you would be so kind as to lend us pathetic, meak, smelly, icky Jews your magical forcefield so we could fend off the forces of psychotic evil and bounce those ROCKETS back to those third world countries they came from we would greatly appreciate it. You are so wise and generous King Scumtard, I aspire to be as wise as you are one day, but I know that will never happen since I'm Jewish and don't have the brain capacity to do so....(sigh)....I guess I'll just go back to my evil volcano lair and try to take over the world or something...gosh.

Cher Ping said...

>"Jewish men just looking for a nice girl"

hm.. don't traumatize them by shattering their last hopes. ;)

(but then again, you had "evil" as a title sometime ago..)

Anonymous said...

Look, saying that other religions are inferior will not gain you any friends. Not everyone is Jewish. Personally, I have always had a fondness for the Jews. Being a Catholic girl, I found little ways of pretending to be Jewish when I was in high school just to impress a lovely Jewish boy. I started wearing a star of David pendant around my neck. My name is a very Jewish name anyway (Ok, not my last name, but my first name is). I sauntered down to synagogue just to bump into him. It was all going so well and we started having a relationship. Until my mother got in the way. She didn't give a hoot who I was dating, but she made the mistake of asking him for dinner. And after an evening of pork chops and all sorts of non-Kosher cuisine my secret was out. I nearly transferred to a different school as my mortification was so intense I felt I had no other option. His cousin nearly kicked the crap out of me for being a "lying Catholic bitch". Can't say I blame her, really. But, hey, we all do crazy shit for love. Luckily for me, I stood a good 8 inches above her tiny little 4 foot 10 inch frame and I was an accomplished marathon runner, too!! That was the last lovely Jewish boy I dated. I think that my current husband is an aetheist. Go figure. . .

Anonymous said...

I feel sorry for the sorry soul who had to go out of his/her way to spout all that hate. What a pathetic life you must have to spend all that time and energy on hating others.. either that or you are compensating for something??? Oh yeah.. and who is running their mouth? Take a look in the mirror.

Anonymous said...

Hey I need a good fuck
open your clit and I will stick my tiny penis all the way in
you will enjoy it

Saffyre said...

Wow, this post sure did bring out the crazies!!!

Personally I took it all with a dose of humour - as I assumed it was intended. I'm not religious, and have always said that being overtly religious can cause wars. Just my two cents but these anonymous commenters haven't done much to change my mind.

rev. billy bob gisher ©2005 said...

damn....i have a really dull blog.