Thursday, November 17, 2005

Working for Satan

Okay, it's not bad enough that associates walk around pushing their I.V. drips of coffee all day, coming in various, single-serve, flavors like "OK, I'm Awake Now," "Good Morning! How Can I Be Your Slave Today?" and "HiI'mReadyToGetToWorkRighNow, YayILoveBeingALawyerFor
TheEvilEmpire, WooHooGoLegalResearch," but today, I've seen the end as I know it.

A new vending machine was just installed on my floor. And along with dispensing the usual sundry items such as Coke, Sprite, and Snapple, the machine actually vends RED BULL. Yes, you read that right. My firm has taken it upon itself to provide its employees with the caffeine equivalent of crack. Because sometimes you need an extra little kick, to work past your usual 9 p.m.

I'm going to buy a bottle of Kettle One, and keep it in my desk. If I'm working after 9, I'm not ordering a Red Bull, I'm ordering a Red Bull vodka, and maybe having a party on the head partner's couch with the hot maintenance guy.

7 comments:

NewYorkMoments said...

I've always been envious of the after hours maintenance people. They get to do a mindless job, then go home & not worry about it until the next day.

And I'm all for keeping Kettle One in the desk!

Anonymous said...

Hey, I didn't realize also you worked for the Evil Empire - see my post "The Empire Strikes Back". Satan / Darth Vadar, SSDD.

Anonymous said...

This is how new law frims are started

Anonymous said...

how's the smoothness going?

Writer said...

Put in a request for those little airline-sized vodka bottles to be added to the vending machine. Why should you have to BYOB? ;)

Unknown said...

Go the whole hog: for every 10 minutes you clock, charge your clients one shot of something on top of your fee... Make things worth your while!

Obewah said...

AMAZING, that modivates me to go to law school. nah, i would never make it!

GO CAFFEINE!