Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Leaving on a jet plane, only to probably come crawling back in a month

So you know that whole thing, when you meet someone, and you feel this connection and familiarity, even though you just met, and you can talk for hours and hours about everything and nothing?

And you're both so excited about each other, and you end up in love a few months later? And then after being in love for over a year, the someone you met decides to ask you to pledge to spend your life with him even if it means that you have to pick up and move your whole life to another country? And he tells you that he wants to take care of you, and wants to have children with you, and wants to wake up next to you everyday?

And because you're being asked on a beautiful island, with the person you're a love-sick puppy over, you respond with a googly-eyed, adoring and excited yes?

And when you return home, you spend two months lying and involving accomplices to get approval from your co-op board to rent out your apartment, you find temporary legal work, you find normal, well adjusted tenants who won't turn your home into a crystal-meth lab, you bargain and haggle with movers so that you don't have to sell any organs to pay for your move, you deal with the (NON-RESPONSIVE) embassy of the country you're moving to, because really, government workers are utterly useless no matter where they're from, and you basically need to check yourself into the hospital from the stress of it all, and still have to say goodbye to your family, your friends, your job all for this chance at building a life with the person you consider your other half?

Yeah. That whole thing is just utterly idiotic. The most moronic, sappy, disgusting, stupid story I've ever heard. That person should really just kill themselves. Anybody have a gun I can borrow?

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Don't die. This blog is hilarious. Unless you're comedic brilliance transcends the usual barriers dying tends to impose on blogging you have a responsibility to us, your readers, to continue to bring mirth into our grey little days.

Jane said...

Yey, you go girl. I don't think Greece is quite as restrictive as the UK but you'll find guns are not so available.

Happy Huband said...

waht can you do. Love has you hooke dto a wonderful man in greece.

Anonymous said...

I thought you didn't want kids...

Unknown said...

Urgh. SO jealous. Getting away from the mother AND escaping to the sun. Where do I get me one of those?!

Chris said...

My wife and I both have handguns but I would need to discuss this with an attorney to determine my civil and criminal liability before I let you borrow one:)

Chris
My Blog

Anonymous said...

As much as I would love to sympathise with you, it is your decision at the end of the day. What you choose to do with your life is, strangely enough, entirely up to you. Poison would be much more inviting than a gun, in my mind. Oh, and just march your ass down to the Greek embassy & tell them that you want to move there NOT that you want to gain US citizenship & never go back to God forsaken Greece. Then they might stand up & take notice. I appreciate you standing by your man & agreeing to move abroad, however; I would suggest that he considers moving to you in NYC. It's a much more customer friendly atmosphere (even when they give you the bird & tell you to fuck off). I have been to Greece on many occasions & I have to say that they have no idea what "breakfast" is. A cold, hard boiled egg & a stale piece of toast with manufactured OJ is not my idea of food for the morning.