So if it's even possible, I've managed to acquire another office stalker. This stalker, Stalker II, is not like Stalker I. He's not overtly sexual and convinced of his own male prowess. His behavior is just strange. Even by lawyer standards.
He "stops by" all the time and hovers, like the space ship that dropped him off, trying to make conversation. He comments on the view all the time. Going so far as to categorize it as THREE DIMENSIONAL. Yes, he did.
Usually, he just stands and stares uncomfortably, without saying anything. Just stands. Stares. Silent.
He barges into my office, (no knock), to chat (or stand, and stare. Stare silently), when I'm clearly working. Or at least pretending to be so engrossed in whatever is on my screen that not even a naked Clive Owen could distract me.
He refuses to acknowledge any of my GO AWAY signals: the monosyllabic responses, the-one sided conversation, the lack of eye-contact, the repeated refusal to go anywhere with him, the stapler I threw at him. Nothing.
I recently found out that Stalker II stalks many women in the firm, including the receptionists and secretaries. It's a relief to find out the severed body parts he plans to store in his freezer could come from any of us. The bigger the pool, the smaller my risk of ending up a chance encounter in an alley gone very VERY wrong.
4 comments:
there is ALWAYS room for being distracted by a naked clive owen! c'mon!!
We have a similiar character at our office. He's like a deer in the headlights.
Office stalker does not always equal serial killer. But you're probably right.
The staring ones are always markedly better than the ones that like to give shoulder rubs, though. At least you don't have a rubber.
Just tryin' to put in some perspective here.
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