Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Valentine's Day, boo hoo, here's a box of tissue, you big baby

So I woke up this morning and realized it's Valentine's Day. Actually, I knew Valentine's Day was approaching because Spawn, my darling baby sister, has been on the phone with me for the past week screaming various threats and epithets about her boyfriend and his, how shall I put this delicately, um, lack of interest in the holiday.

I, of course, am of the school of "Valentine's Day is a bunch of Hallmark malarkey" while on the inside secretly hoping for someone, ANYONE, to send me carnations soaked in red food dye, or some pastel colored, heart shaped candy with inane, meaningless sayings, or even some drug store chocolate whose aftertaste can only be washed away with gasoline. You know, I'm a real romantic. Just don't tell anyone.

Here in Greece, the holiday is a non-event. And so, there are very few women and sensitive men sitting around at home, lamenting their singledom. Unlike my sister's boyfriend, who is scrambling, as we speak, to avoid the hot poker she will repeatedly stab him in the neck with if he doesn't do something to appease her Valentine's Day beast.

Ahhh, to be 21 again and actually give a shit.

Anyway, I wanted to wish all of you who care a happy Valentine's Day and not to be sad today if you're alone. You were probably alone last night, and you'll probably be alone tomorrow night, so really, there's no need to be dramatic about it today.

And remember everyone, the Jews killed Jesus. And probably St. Valentine. You might be next.


Spawn said...

Ehem....SPAWN HERE, and thankfully I did NOT have to remove the hot poker from the fire and repeatedly stab my sometimes forgetful, always unemotional, and absent minded boyfriend. Instead I received the perfect gift, a HUGE heart shaped Ms. Fields chocolate chip cookie cake which read Happy Valentines Day, along with a homemade card (no, no finger-paint, buttons or cotton balls were used) professing his love (who knew) for me. So be jealous big sis, us Americans still know how to celebrate the corniest of holidays. Enjoy those gyros!! :) xoxo miss you tons...(tons of fun hehe)

briliantdonkey said...

Just found your blog via Chris. LOVE the title as I have always considered us(humans) to be God's little sitcom. Close enough for government work. Hope to come back and read more later.


Chris said...

Wasn't Saint Valentine the Saint of Greeting Cards and Russell Stover chocolates?

I'm lucky. Our anniversary is Feb 17th so I always get a free pass on Valentines day:)

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