Okay, so I'm a bitch. Well, only sort of. You see, he had a bottle of white already chilled in the fridge depending on whether I wanted red or white. And he bought a few different types of cheese, including something spicy, because I told him I like spicy food. And he even got fruit (fruit!), and crackers, and fancy bread. Oh, and olives, yummy Greek olives. And he was ready on time. And even though rain was predicted, the weather was idyllic. It was perfect, fluffy white clouds, sun, warm air, no humidity. Just perfect. I've never thrown a football, but we brought it anyway, because I'm a fast learner (and my clumsiness will only endear me to him).
After three-quarters of the bottle, some cheese, some laughing, and some football tossing (which I'm pretty good at apparently), we were lazing about on the blanket, teasing each other about something. He was leaning back on his elbows, with his knees up, and I was casually leaning on one of his knees.
And then he said "Come here." And I froze. Because now he wanted to kiss me, but he wanted me to physically move my body, my head, and my lips towards his for our first kiss. And I couldn't. So I made some dumb joke about "not in front of the kids" meaning the ones on the blanket 10 feet away from us, blushed furiously, and told him I'm uncomfortable with public displays of affection.
See, I hate the "come here" for a first kiss. I was on the fence with the guy, not sure if I was attracted to him or not. But the minute I heard those words, I jumped off that fence to the opposite side of where he was. The "come here" puts the power in my hands, and gives me time to think before acting. If I'm on the fence and I have to think about whether to kiss a guy or not, then I'm just not going to kiss him. And painful awkwardness ensues. The "come here" forces me to be the physical aggressor, and although I have a big mouth and a pretty healthy confidence level, I'm not comfortable doing that initially. Most women aren't. Unless the chemistry is palpable (and it rarely is) then I'm not doing the kissing.
I almost said, "No, you want to kiss me. YOU come here." It's like when someone calls your house and asks "who is this?" without identifying themselves. "Um, well, you're calling my house, who are you?"
I think that if a man wants to kiss a woman for the first time, he should just kiss her. He should maneuver himself in such a way that he can cradle her face in his hands and lean in for a kiss. He shouldn't ask for permission (for the love of god, just kill yourself if you have to ask for permission) and he shouldn't be directing her to do anything either, including "come here."
I'm not a romantic, I'm really not. The number of times I've burst out laughing while some idiot was professing poetic images of his feelings are many; I have no qualms about telling a guy to get a hold of himself if he gets mushy too early. And I'm not looking for the Eiffel Tower and fireworks as a backdrop to a first kiss, but even jaded girls like me would like a guy who at least takes the first step, who makes the move to initiate physical intimacy. And the move does not include verbal directions.