My best friend has helped me devise a way to weed through the gagillion emails I've gotten on the dating site:
I think you should create a stock response. Maybe with a questionnaire... actually let's make it a contest. Oooh... I'm liking this.
1) What is your favorite movie quote and why?
2) What kind of shoes are you wearing right now?
3) I have a hangover, what do you recommend?
4) We go away on romantic vacation to a beautiful, secluded spot. After lounging on our private beach for the day, we return to our bungalow and the butler tells you that your mother has called and would like you to call her back. What do you do? (this is a trick question - most points for "that's impossible, I wouldn't give my mother the number").
Based on the number of responses we could narrow it down to the top 10, have a second round, and then the top 3 get dates.
1) Write a haiku about your last relationship. (This is another semi-trick question. The grading, on a 1-10 scale would go something like this.)
0 points - they don't get the 5-7-5 right.... or any haiku such as the following: the wheel of romance, all I have left are pictures, my russian jackpot (what my ex used to call his ex-girlfriend while we were married)
1-7 points - any haiku about a past relationship
8-10 points - any haiku denying that there were any past relationships, 10 points if they compliment you as well
2) A person dies, and arrives at the gate to heaven. There are three doors - one of them leads to heaven, another one leads to a 1-day stay at hell, and then back to the gate, and the other leads to a 2-day stay at hell, and then back to the gate. Every time the person is back at the gate, the three doors are reshuffled. How long will it take the person to reach heaven?
Scoring should be based upon accurately answering the question (5 points) plus relevant religious musings (5 points).
This is the same great friend that used to console me when I would complain that I'm going to be single forever, by pointing out that actually one day I'm going to die.