Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Once a Sucker, Always a Sucker

My online dating profile is complete. Again.

About Me: No filter between brain and mouth. Can shoot gun. Well.
Languages Spoken: Can cuss in Greek, Hebrew, Farsi, Russian, Italian, French and Arabic. Well.
Pets: Have: Fleas; Don't Have But Would Like: Dog.
Religion: Heathen.
Best Physical Feature: My Rack.
Favorite Foods: Vegan/Barbecue.
Drinking Habits: Hello, my name is _____ and I'm an alcoholic
Smoking Habits: Only to get high.
Who I'm looking for: NO ASSEMBLY REQUIRED (batteries optional).

That sums it up, I think. Let the games begin.


Laynie said...

You speak Farsi AND Arabic? Can I just bow down here or would you prefer I build an alter in my powder room?

I've signed up for lessons at the range! Soon I'll be ready to look as cool holding a sig as I feel saying "sig." ;)

Clublint said...

Ooooooooooooo you'll be snapped up in no time!!

Doesn't the word Farsi sound like a cuss word just on it's own.

It's juvenile, I know, but I always giggle when I see that word...


landismom said...

I think that by advertising your rack as your best physical feature, you're at least guaranteed one date. Not sure if it will lead to cursing or the shooting of firearms, though.

Anne said...

Well, if I weren't already married, and female, I would answer your profile!

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