Wednesday, August 16, 2006

The Not-So-Prodigal Daughter's Return

So I've returned from Heaven, aka, three months in Greece with my boyf. And of course I'm lucky enough to be re-experiencing the dysfunctional psychosis deeply embedded in my family's gene pool.

Part of the family is happy for me for having found someone; part of the family looks at me as if I'm re-eating food I just threw up on the floor; and part of the family is so mad that their heads are ready to explode off their necks.

There are those that have been disillusioned, and are very unhappy about it. They thought my Greek boyf was Jewish, so that when I returned, they were ready to give me the, "As long as you love each other, get along, and want to be together, it doesn't matter where you live. You have to build your own life, even if it's in Greece."

But the minute they found out he isn't Jewish, suddenly the mantra became, "You're making the biggest mistake of your life. You will regret this for the rest of your life. Your life will be over." I tried to make them understand that I don't care about religion, that I don't even believe in god, and therefore, if their advice is to go if the guy is Jewish, then their advice should be the same if I don't care about religion. They don't see it that way. Remarkably.

Somehow, the only thing that resonates in the talks I have with my family is the constant reference to MY LIFE. That's right. It's my life. And therefore, I have the right to muck it up as much as I like. Muck, muck muckety muck.

So far, I've screwed up my life by constantly keeping others in mind when I made a decision to do something. "Would my family approve of this guy? Does he make enough money so that I can keep up with my friends and not shame my family? Is my law firm impressive enough? Are my clothes nice enough; is my figure nice enough; do I look good enough to keep anyone from making plastic surgery suggestions at the dinner table?"

And now, I don't really care. I would rather fuck up my life based on my own mistakes, rather than fucking it up based on the opinion of others.

What's the worst that could happen? We break up? We hate each other? The police need to get involved? Yeah, like I'm not used to that.

3 comments:

SimoneladybugKnits said...

It's hard to please others and even harder to please yourself in matters of life style and/or who you chose to be with. Do whatever makes YOU happy 'cause the only one living YOUR life it's you not them. I'm trying to follow my own advice. And altough my parents didn't like the idea for me to be with someone who had a previous marriage life and a kid, ironically he's the one guy I have lasted with the longest time in a relationship...Good luck

Jack Burden said...

Welcome back!

Sara said...

Don't mean to step on your toes seeing that this is my first visit to your blog. I also completely agree that you have a right to muck muck muckety up your life. But might i say that if you are considering moving to Greece, you are DEFINITELY mucking it up? I've lived here for the past sixteen years. I can't say it's sucked entirely but now that i'm divorced from that dreamy Greek guy i found when i was twenty and have two little kids to support, well, the country has lost a lot if it's charm. Greeks are very well-knit together. I'm even half Greek by my dad's side (which is much more worthy blood by Greek standards! he he) and will always be seen as foreign. Now a JEWISH girl? Forget it! It's not that Greeks are exactly anti-Semitic. It's just that there exist two categories for them. 1. Greeks 2. Non-Greeks. I squeak by because i'm half-Greek. You won't, even though everyone will be polite and make you think you do. Oh, i could go on forever but i sound cynical enough....Believe me, i truly hope i am wrong and that you can find true happiness with your man.