I generally write about my own humiliation, because really, there's just so much material. But today, I get to write about someone else's humiliation which will be a refreshing change I think.
See, I usually take the same train every morning, give or take the odd mad-dash, barely dressed, hung-over race to the office that occurs anywhere from once a month to three or four times a week. I recently met someone that I've been seeing on the train since January (minus my three month stint in Greece).
He's very nice, but it took him from January to August to say hello. That's sweet, in a third grade kind of way. But still sweet. We're now friendly, sitting together on the ride, chatting, talking about his terrible taste in music. (Since I know he'll read this, I think I should reiterate that he really has TERRIBLE TASTE IN MUSIC).
When I saw him on the train after I got back from Greece, he seemed so surprised to see me again, and even commented that he thought I had moved out of my building. I told him that I was only away for the summer and back to the old grind.
Yesterday on the ride home, he decides to tell me a story.
Turns out, a few months ago, he met his friend and her real estate agent in our neighborhood, to look at apartments. Apparently, the agent seemed to know everyone and he asked her if she knew of a girl who lived in my building, with long, straight black hair (I have long straight black hair), thin (I am relatively thin), and about 5'6" (I'm almost 5'6"), because she used to take the train in the mornings, but he hasn't seen this girl all summer.
Sure, replies the real estate agent. That's Shari, but Shari just moved recently.
So my friend decides to write Shari a letter. A Lost Opportunity Letter hoping to reach her because he thinks this woman he used to see on the train has moved and is never coming back. A letter that says, you know, I've seen you on the train in the mornings since January, and never got around to saying hello. I'm pretty shy. Wondering if maybe you want to take a chance, I'm interested in getting to know you...... That sort of putting yourself out on a limb, hoping lightning won't strike your particular tree (but of course it will) thing.
So, um Shari, if you're reading this, I believe you have a letter that belongs to me.
And if you're the real estate agent reading this, watch your back, because my friend has a beat-down with your name on it.
11 comments:
Is that like posting on Craigslist in the "Missed Connections" area? Just wondering, because I did that, and it didn't turn out well.
Figures. Heh.
Now I have that stupid song "Oooooooh Shari..." stuck in my head.
Not that I would ever have any way of knowing, but I think it's a safe bet that his musical tastes are pretty damn awesome!
3rd grade??? ouch.
What a funny, sweet story. I think you should blow off Greek guy and give this one a chance!
GO TALK TO LOST OPPORTUNITY!!!! you don't want to look back and say what if-- and he sounds nice-- my gosh how unattractive, right??
What the hell are you babbling about Anonymous? I'm already in a relationship and cheating is not my thing. Lost Opportunity Guy and I are friends. We talk all the time.
Actually, what I tend to find unattractive is idiotic (and unsolicited) advice from people who don't know the first thing about me or my life.
If you find the advice unsolicited then I would suggest you stop writing about how fantastic you are with your "Lost Opportunity" letter that went to someone else! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Has anyone ever told you that you have an over-inflated ego? Probably. Maybe you are in a relationship (if that's what you want to call it when he's how many thousands of miles away) and maybe cheating is not your thing, but as I've read your posts for the past 6 months or so it does seem that you are a bit of a slut. People who write blogs are making themselves targets for other peoples opinions, views & advice (unsolicited or not).
Listen, Anonymous, my being utterly fantastic has nothing to do with the Lost Opportunity Letter. It was a funny story that happened to a friend.
Sorry you didn't understand the post. Might I suggest you go back and beat up your high school english teacher for failing so miserably?
Of course I understand your post. I understand that you are so in love with yourself that everything else fades into oblivion. I feel no need to beat up my high school english teacher as I am thoroughly well versed in the English language. Yes, this may be a funny story that happened to "a friend", but as per usual, it's all about you and your self righteous belief that you are the hottest shit on the planet. Might I suggest you go and beat up your mother for making you so conceited?
You think my dear mother made me conceited? No no, that's just silly.
It's all the men that fall at my feet, the attention I get all the time, all the marriage proposals, the anonymous love letters, the flowers, the jewels, the avowals of love I hear from men who just can't help themselves. I would say I'm more CONVINCED than conceited. But my mom? No, she has nothing to do with it.
FYI: It is impossible to have black hair. I think you meant that you have dark brown hair, which is possible in the gene pool. Nobody has black hair. Do a punnet square to find out if you don't believe me. And why on Earth would you want to have straight hair??? Curls are much more glam.
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