Conversation Snippets of Interest

My first drink ever was a flaming shot of 151.

What's that?

It's a shot of 151, lit on fire.

Oh.......Do you blow it out first?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hey, I know this is a long shot, but my old college roommate, from about 12 years ago, lives in the town you used to live in for a while. You wouldn't happen to know Mr. Drives an Embarrassingly Loud Muscle Head Car That is the Total Antithesis of Him Being a Doctor would you?

Mr. Drives an Embarrassingly Loud Muscle Head Car That is the Total Antithesis of Him Being a Doctor? Hhmmm? Oh yeah,yeah, I think I know him. I went out on a couple of dates with him.
What?! You actually know him?

Listen, if he's single and Jewish, and in the State of New York at some point in his life, chances are I dated him.

Where did you guys meet?

On JDate.

Are you still on it?

No.

Why?

Because there's only a finite supply of men on JDate.....
---------------------------------------------------
MLIGCS: Listen, guys, we appreciate your interest in chatting us up and buying us drinks, but really, we're waaaay too old for you.

Ridiculously Hot Guy Whose Breath Still Smells Like Breast Milk: There's no way you're older than me.

MLIGCS: How old are you?

Ridiculously Hot Guy Whose Breath Still Smells Like Breast Milk: 24.

MLIGCS: Oh. I guess we're the same age.....Wanna dance?
----------------------------------------------------------
MLIGCS: Is that a hair growing out of the mole on her upper lip?

Friend: (shudders) I think so.

MLIGCS: It's really long.

Friend: I know, it's scary looking.

MLIGCS: It's thick like a pubic hair, but it's sticking straight out.

Friend: Yup. Do you think she knows its there?

MLIGCS: She probably uses it to floss.