I know it doesn't say "turnip" across my forehead. The reason I know this is because I've caught glimpses of myself in various mirrors on occasion, and my forehead is blank. No writing, no scribbles, no signs, no doodles.
So I'm always amazed when someone attributes to me the intelligence levels of a vegetable. Not that there's anything wrong with turnips, per se, but really, everyone knows they're not as smart as asparagus or a particularly advanced cauliflower.
My girlfriend and I both met a guy whose romantic overtures we each rejected (unbeknownst to either of us at the time). And then, I receive a very curious email from him, months and months later.
The email asked about life, what's going on, singledom, the usual tripe. And oh so casually let me know he sent my girlfriend an email that went unanswered.
In response to my brilliantly witty and interesting reply letting him know that we are still single, he decides to offer himself as a prospective candidate. TO BOTH OF US. The, "hey there's always a great guy here in [somewhere that totally sucks] if ever your friend or you have interest ;)". (Don't even get me started on the emoticon).
Gentlemen, please, pay attention to the following: If a woman ignores you, don't try to circumvent her rejection by backdooring in through her friends. Women, although crazy and emotional on occasion, ARE NOT STUPID. I AM NOT STUPID. Oh, and I'm also not a pimp.
And please, for the love of god and all things holy and sacred on this good earth, you don't let a woman know she's part of your lineup. Seriously, fishing operations need to be covert. Not, "Hey, I'll take you, or your friend, or even that woman standing off to your left..."
Matters of the heart are delicate, and should be treated as such. Dipshit.
5 comments:
well said!
I thought you liked backdooring.
You nailed that one on the head, anonymous!
Maybe that approach worked for the guy when he was job-searching and sent a resume to every law firm in the tri-state area -- and he figured it might just work with women, also.
My favorite bad pickup line of all time, from a guy I had rejected 10 years earlier and who popped up like an evil jack-in-the-box for more abuse:
"Hey, you're still pretty good-looking. Do you want to go out sometime?"
Smoooooth talker, that Nick Wu.
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