My girlfriend was complaining today that she hasn't had sex in over a year. I begged her to let go of her sophomoric Disney ideals of commitment and love and just go out there and get laid.
I mean, sometimes a girl just needs a good shtupping. And she's not getting any younger. There's a plethora, an abundance, a large goddamned number of very fuckable men in New York. I even offered my European lover who will be visiting soon for a hot roll in the hay. She wasn't interested.
Half an hour later, this IM conversation occurs:
I was just on the Victoria's Secret website.
Thank goodness.
Yeah, they have some really cute bathing suits.
A 30 year old woman that hasn't had sex in over a year DOES NOT GO TO Victoria's Secret for BATHING SUITS!!!!! Get yourself some crotchless panties and go fuck someone already. Sleep with that Italian bartender you met the other night.
But I don't speak Italian.
Moaning and praying are universal. I have a feeling "fuck me now" and "Oh god" will translate just fine.
3 comments:
Yes, sometimes a girl just needs to get laid.
What would Theresa Dunn do?
why i visualize everything i read i will never know.
Post a Comment