Friday, June 03, 2005

Appropriate

I was wondering when it became okay to insult a total stranger. Because if there are new rules, I'm game, I just need the handbook.

Last night, at my cousin's engagement party, I wore my fabulous new necklace (chunky oversized beads you see all over SoHo nowadays) to go with my fabulous new dress.

Feeling pretty good after a few cocktails (I love that word by the way - cock and tails, together....but I digress), I was hanging out with my sister and one of her male friends. One of his friends, trying to get in on the action, comes by to get introduced.

Hellos are exchanged. And then suddenly, he points to my necklace and says, "Wow. You look like you're wearing anal beads."

Kaboom. It was like a bomb went off. We stood there dumbfounded for a second, because no one could believe that a complete stranger would have the nerve to talk like that.

Now I'm relatively secure, and pretty confident in my fashion choices, but I couldn't let that slide for some reason.

So I reply, "I appreciate your need to share, but really, shouldn't we get to know each other a little better before you insinuate that you take it up the ass? If you like, after our first date, I could just strap one on and go to town on you."

For some reason, he walked away......

12 comments:

Boinks said...

hahhaha.... nice job.

ty bluesmith said...

yes. finally something funny on blogclicker.

madman said...

I hope to God that is a true story--because that is hilarious. LOL

Terry said...

Hahahaha, excellent comeback! What a schmuck.

Anonymous said...

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Rebecca said...

What a great comeback!

Kiki said...

what a loser - great comeback!!

Dean said...

Please excuse The Goy in me but I just can't resist. I think there are larger issues needing to be addressed here;

1. Does your necklace, indeed, resemble anal beads (Ben Wa Balls may have been the more socially appropriate descriptor given the venue, though NOT the same thing)?

2. Will you be wearing your heretofor *NEW* favorite necklace to another social function where family members (more specifically Spawn of Satan) may/will be present?

I believe the answer to Number 2 may answer Number 1 associatively.

Great stuff! Peace.

carrotpenis said...

I agree. An anal beads comment is best left for perhaps a third date conversation. What a doof.

VI said...

THAT is the funniest thing I have read in quite some time. Did you REALLY say that?

Anonymous said...

I know the necklace you are talking about - it does look like a string of anal beads

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