Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Glorious Morning

Dear Fuck-Wads at My Bank,

I just wanted to write to let you know that I really did not appreciate having my check card declined this morning at the gas station. Although I understand your claim that my account information was compromised and "as the appropriate thing to do" you cancelled my card, it might have been wiser to wait UNTIL I GOT MY NEW CARD BEFORE CANCELING THE OLD ONE.

Your "golly fucking gee, Ma'am, it sure done said so in the letter we done sent you" response does not account for the fact that I never actually got the CARD that you were supposed to "done fucking send me."

Your unilateral cancellation has not only caused me humiliation, but agita in ways that may cause a permanent tick. Your "Ma'am, the new card was sent out on the 25th and I cannot explain its whereabouts" is a load of horse shit that you should be forced to eat. If you were within arms reach, you would definitely know the whereabouts of my four inch heel shoved so far up your ass it would be poking your damn eye out.

Your "As a courtesy Ma'am, we would be willing to send you another card under a rush order (three business days)" is really NOT A COURTESY WHEN YOU CAUSED THIS MESS TO BEGIN WITH. I have an idea, why don't you wait until the "new" card you claim to have sent out is ACTIVATED before you just go ahead and, oh, what the fuck, cancel the old one WITHOUT NOTICE. Hhhhhmmmmmm, just a suggestion, you total and utter DIPSHITS.

I wish a pestilence on you and your families so that you are effectively driven out of the gene pool.

My Life is God's Comic Strip

P.S. - to the traffic I encountered this morning after dealing with this mess, you TOO can SUCK MY ASS.

17 comments:

VI said...

Did you have an alternate form of payment on you??? or did you have to dance as payment?

My Life Is God's Comic Strip said...

Just a note for those of you wondering, I do not use credit cards (only my visa check-card). And I just happened to not have enough cash on me this morning.

I danced like a monkey for payment. Actually, I wrote them a check as collateral and promised to be back with cash tomorrow.

VI said...

Why - do you "not use credit cards"
Do you have issue with them? (just wondering.)

ClooJew said...

Ouch!

Would not want to cross you on a bad day!

Anonymous said...

Absolutely hysterical! Favorite line: "I wish a pestilence on you and your families so that you are effectively driven out of the gene pool." Love it, love it.

28goingon40 said...

That's a rough day all around! It can only get better. Right?

JoanSinbad said...

I'm with you on the not using credit cards. I'll never have another one.

Jordan, and ya don't stop said...

I hate bank people SO MUCH. I hate all customer service people, except that nice fellow from "Worst Call Of The Day" blog. I finally won my first battle with Verizon CS yesterday and i wanted to throw a party. Finally logic won over corporate pre-scripted might-as-well-be-robot-stick-to-procedure service people.
By the way, i decided to add a "links" section to my blog and yours made the cut.

-jordan

carrotpenis said...

Banks do suck. We were this National City for a long time and they were just as bad. We finally ended up going to a local one. You don't get all the bells and whistles, but so far none of the bullshit either.

Neil said...

One guess -- Citibank? Only Bank of America is worse. I wish I lived in New York. Last time I was there, I saw some smaller bank that lets you throw in all your coins into that machine, without ripping you off by taking a percentage -- like in the supermarket. That's the bank to use!

Terry said...

What a sucky thing to happen. Pour hot coffee in their ATM's wherever you can!

Anonymous said...

Well, what if they didn't cancel your card, and whoever "compromised" it took all the money out of your checking account, while you were waiting for the new card?

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