Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Humiliations Galore

Here's something painfully embarrassing: crying after sex. Yes, that's what I said. Crying after sex. And not crying because you're sad, but crying because you've had a couple of cocktails (still one of my favorite words) and now you're emotionally vulnerable.

I cried after sex this weekend. I know, I know: there's no crying in baseball! But apparently, there is crying in my apartment. Like a TOOL! Like a little bitch. Heinrich was NOT amused. I don't blame him.

The next morning he tried to tease me, but I told him the sex was so bad that I started crying afterward in relief that it was over. He laughed at me. At least he's a good sport.

I feel like I'm starring in that movie, How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days. But I'm not acting, I'm just being myself - which is the terrifying part.

I think it's fine actually. I think being emotionally vulnerable is healthy, especially after this year and a half after my divorce. With all the head-on collisions, derailments and ten-car pile-ups I've encountered in the dating world, I'm clearly a little rusty at being genuine rather than a shit-talking player, but I'll find my way.

One of the dumbest people I know (who has a great heart) told me one of the smartest things I've ever heard: You'll never win if you're afraid to lose. I try to remember this every time I have a serious decision to make, like taking a new job, moving (still in the air), meeting a new guy or making a new friend.

Either way, I'm sure I'm not the first girl Heinrich has made cry and it's not the first time I've cried. It's just the first time in a really really REALLY long time.

I mean, it could have been worse, I could have laughed after sex. And that would not have been good. AT ALL.

13 comments:

Neil said...

There's no shame in crying after sex. I know I cried the last time I had sex because, considering she broke up with me afterwards, I knew it would be another year and a half before I had sex again.

GQ1NYC said...

Was he really that bad? You never find love, love finds you and it's usually when you say to yourself, I don't want to be in love right now that you end up falling in love. Life is wierd that way. Gods little irony.

My Life Is God's Comic Strip said...

The point was that I became emotional after sex because the sex was so GOOD, which resulted in my crying.

Anonymous said...

you had to add that little last comment because he reads your blog, right?

My Life Is God's Comic Strip said...

No, I added it in response to GQ1nyc asking if it was really that bad.

Jack Burden said...

You sound like you're in control of the situation. You know why it happened, you have a sense of perspective and, most importantly, a sense of humor about it.

It sounds to me like you're emotionally healthy, and that's 99.9% of anything.

As far as Heinrich goes, just explain that it's a temporary thing, and the more sex you have, the sooner it'll go away. And you want it to go away really soon. That'll fix 'im.

Anonymous said...

Next time just moan louder and everything will be forgiven / forgotten.

GQ1NYC said...

Then that is a good thing, I would be understanding if a girl cried after sex because of that. Maybe he just isn't sensative to your emotions.

Anonymous said...

We all know he reads your blog!!! Hey Heinrich, stop making her cry damn you!!!

Deity said...

Sweet, no guy made ME cry, in a good way, yet :(

Anonymous said...

I think I'd cry, too, after sleeping with someone called Heinrich.

Anonymous said...

Just kidding, actually. I think it's sweet and endearing and that Heinrich should appreciate that.

Anonymous said...

if ts ok to sreem its ok to cry...D