Friday, March 31, 2006

I don't need this on a Friday afternoon

Sharing is nice. Caring is nice. It's great when you sit down with your significant other, and they offer you half of their sandwich, or the last scoop of Ben and Jerry's Chunky Monkey. Awww, thanks Pookie.

Even talking about past emotional trials and tribulations are nice. Helps you get closer to each other. No really. You guys broke up two years ago? Oh, what? She played with your emotions for two years? And it was one of those unhealthy, I can't let her go, even though she's really bad news, on-again, off-again relationships? I'm so sorry someone treated you so badly, that's terrible. I'm happy that you were able to get the emotional strength to finally break away.

"Yeah, but at least I got to fuck her."

Um, what?

"I fucked her."

Um, do you mean, you fucked her over because of the severe emotional trauma she put you through? Or do you mean, you fucked her, as in, you got to have sex with her?

"I fucked her. I got to have sex with her. Lots of sex. I waited a long time to fuck her, I had known her since we were 14. I consider myself totally repaid for the emotional shit she did to me."

.....Do you realize who you're talking to?

"What? I didn't say anything wrong. I'm not telling you how great it was or anything. I'm just saying it was a lot. Enough for me to feel like I got something out of it."

THIS IS WHAT IS CONSIDERED TOO MUCH INFORMATION. TOO FUCKING MUCH INFORMATION TO PROVIDE TO YOUR CURRENT GIRLFRIEND.

I cannot stress enough how this is TOO. FUCKING. MUCH.

AND, the irony of it all, is that when I politely excused myself from the conversation because I was a little upset, HE GOT MAD AT ME! MAD AT ME!!!!!

Because in his little brain, talking about the emotional trauma he went through because of her and talking about HOW HE AT LEAST GOT TO FUCK HER, FUCK HER A LOT, BECAUSE HE WAITED SINCE HE WAS 14, AND FEELS REPAID NOW is the same thing.

Apparently there is no delicate balance between what we share and what we don't. He might as well tell me she liked it from behind and that she tasted great.

There are limits. There HAVE TO BE LIMITS. SEXPLOITS are generally off-limits. Emotional mumbo-jumbo is just fine. "At least I fucked her" IS NOT FINE.

And that's from a woman who writes an anonymous and generally humiliating blog.

8 comments:

Hilary said...

I am confused...again. Boyfriend? When? Who? European guy?

Anonymous said...

This guy sounds like an unempathic narcissist with a borderline personality disorder. Dump his ass, you deserve better! You are not "one of the guys" he should show some respect!

TC said...

Man, you can so pick 'em!

Whoever this guy is, kick his ass into touch!

John said...

Wait a sec. What boyfriend. When did this happen? What happened to the euro guy you have been writing about?

My Life Is God's Comic Strip said...

This is the Euro guy I've been writing about. He's the most amazing guy I know, and the biggest PAIN IN MY ASS.

Attila The Mom said...

I'm sorry. I know it's not funny, but I can't stop snickering.

You make something so---ooogy---into a divine comedy.

I really adore the way you write.

FrumGirl said...

Yikes...! Not so much the sharing that he "did her" but saying it as if it was some kind of revenge for whatever... ugh... guys at their worst. Doesnt that attitude bother you?

Hannah said...

Oh, not cool, not cool.

Dear God, what is wrong with them as a species at the moment?

I was informed by The Thespian yesterday that he "wasn't sure that he wanted a relationship" and that he feels "things are moving too fast." Huh. Now, would that be because YOU asked ME on a second date where I met YOUR FAMILY?! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH.

Seriously chaps. Go and sort your heads out. Or boil them. Whichever.