1. Why didn't you invite me out to dinner with you and your sister last night?
- Because we wanted to enjoy ourselves, Mom.
2. Is your little sister actually spending nights at her new boyfriends house?
- Mom, you need to ask her these nosy, annoying questions yourself. And then, maybe after having three daughters aged 20 to 30, you might learn to deal with the answers at SOME POINT IN YOUR LIFE.
3. I just don't want her to get hurt, or make a mistake. Like SOME people.....
- Doesn't Satan get lonely without you Mom?
4. Do you remember that we're having dinner at your grandmother's house tonight? And remember to come home early. Remember your aunt and cousins are going to be there? And don't forget to try to look normal.
- I can't hear you over the blood gushing out of my ears.
8 comments:
I read your blog all the time and you should write a book. You are a great writer and you tell it how it is!
So don't you look 'normal' as a matter of course?
Mums, eh?
Who are you? I tripped over here via SuperJux and after reading up; I adore you. You're awesome.
datingmaster gets so many hits because he is clearly a lunatic - maybe he is such a nut job because he cannot reconcile his twisted state of mind with his claimed modern orthodox status - its too bad he is obsessed with you
Make sure there is a detailed entry for the bar mitzvah
supposedly they cut the umbilical cord at birth, but i am not so sure.
I'm with TC; what does 'looking normal' constitute to your mother, and if you don't, then what do you look like?
All kinds of questions going round my head now...
Normal for my mother means: hair - done. Makeup - done. Nails - done. Outfit - perfect AND perfectly fashionable. She's the kind of mom that used to make me wear makeup, even when I didn't feel like it. You know, "Honey, are you going out like that? Why don't you put some rouge and lipstick on before you leave."
"Because, mom, I'm going to the grocery store..."
I look "normal" by normal standards. Just not "normal" by a worried Jewish mother of a STILL single 30 year old woman standard.
where is your next blog? Inquiring minds are waiting for it.
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