Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Jacked

I just got coffee jacked. I'm really pissed. You can't TAKE someone else's coffee. It's not professional, it's not nice, and if you're taking from me, it's not safe.

There was a line at the coffee station. A LINE. That means the woman ahead of me was first, then me, then anyone else. Apparently the Coffee-Jacker missed all of kindergarten, where we learned the basic rules of social engagement: share, say thank you, please, you're welcome, and WAIT YOUR FUCKING TURN.

Just because the woman ahead of me turned to talk to me about my hair doesn't negate the fact that I'm holding an empty coffee mug AT THE COFFEE STATION with the intention of leaving with a non-empty mug. But no, this interloper, this social heathen, this malfunctioning misfit comes barreling in between us at a tiny coffee station that could barely fit the TWO PEOPLE AHEAD OF HER ON LINE, grabbed a cup and FINISHED the damn coffee. She places the empty coffee pot on the burner, and turns to join our little conversation about my hair.

I turned and walked away. Of course, the solution would be to just make another pot. Why be such a baby? But that's not the point. The point is common courtesy, social graces, proper upbringing, and an awareness of your surroundings. YOU FUCKING COFFEE-JACKING RAG!!

11 comments:

jewelpieces said...

I find that if you lower your standards of people, life isn't so disappointing.

Anonymous said...

I think you need a cup of coffee, quickly.

B. said...

Yes, but what was the hair discussion about?

Anonymous said...

i'm sorry i didn't make more coffee. i didn't know it was that important to you!

irish1994 said...

Steve McCroskey: How 'bout some coffee, Johnny?
Johnny: No thanks!

Anonymous Me said...

Can I just say how much I love your blog? It never disappoints, and I usually find myself sighing in contentment after I read your latest post. It's like a really good cup of coff--uh, I mean, like a really good cigarette.

irish1994 said...

what a kiss ass!

Simon Gray said...

I apologize in advance for taking up space, but I'm feeling great amounts of empathy. I work at a community arts council, and today we had an Easter egg hunt on our grounds which was sponsored by the local Moms Club. So picture this: 50 mothers, each with 2.5 children in tow, all driving vans or SUVs (and 1 Hummer), converging on a parking lot with only 1 entrance. The fact that they all show up 5 minutes after the event is scheduled to start somehow, in their minds, grants them permission to skip with the whole line-waiting thing and simply park wherever is convenient. I mean, why push your stroller all the way over from that parking lot, when you can just drive your 4x4 right up into our front yard? Little Billy might miss being first onto the egg field otherwise -- and it's all about the kids, right?

Great blog, by the way -- found it via Annonymous Me's site.

My Life Is God's Comic Strip said...

I apologize for Joe Poe's second comment. His social skills aren't really up to par.

You'd never guess said...

so next time don't be a wallflower and just telling the fucking coffes jacking rag that she has no social mores, was raised in a barn and should have the decemcy to make a new pot-- or better yet-- just trip her on the way of out the coffee station and watch the coffee fly all over the place!!!!

fzheavenearth said...

Was our hair caught in your pearl necklace?