Thursday, March 31, 2005

Watch out for the lightening bolt!!!!

As an infidel heretic Jew-broad, I find it HILARIOUS that the first google adds ever displayed on my page all refer to religion. "Comforting Christian Art: Pencil drawings that help you experience God's love," "What is God Like? An introduction into the character of God as given in His words." I cannot make this up.

My golden calf and I are in fits of giggles. Did you know the easiest way to get my mother off the phone is to tell her that there is no god? And one of my favorite things is to make it known to anyone I meet that only eats kosher that the BEST tasting food on EARTH is bacon. The joke's on them.

And a constant source of reaffirmation for my non-belief is Jessica Simpson's refusal to use god's name. She doesn't say "Oh my god." Oh no, she says "Oh my Gaw." Oh my GAW. (I only know this because I'm addicted to bad reality tv. So are you!! I just have the balls to admit it.)

Oh my Gaw, I think the peroxide has soaked into her head and is causing full-cranial damage. Tuna fish is made out of TUNA. Chicken is made out of CHICKEN. This is the type of person who is afraid to take Gaw's name in vain. Ahem.

And for all of you out there thinking I'm going to Hell, that would be redundant at this point.

16 comments:

Anonymous Me said...

Well, your Google ads may be off-base for you, but they're right on target for me. The one I'm looking at now on your site is for a drug and alcohol rehab center (although mercifully not a Christian one). Are you trying to tell me something?

Anonymous Me said...

And another thing--I don't want to hear about your ruined blouse, 'cause you owe me for some drycleaning bills, too. Gaw only knows how many times I've peed my pants while reading your blog. That shit is FUNNY!

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