Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Things That Annoy the Living Fuck Out of Me

1. People who use LOL.
2. Being handed bills, then coins, when collecting change.
3. People who brake on the highway for no reason.
4. Men who say they’ll call, but never do.
5. Dumb people that know only one three-syllable word and try to work it into every conversation. Learn a new fucking word!!!!
6. People who offer me unsolicited advice - um, thanks for your gumball machine dispensing analysis, but try living in my head for five minutes. IT’S MORE COMPLICATED THAN THAT.
7. When I have something in my teeth and no one bothers to point it out.
8. People who complain but never ever ever ever do anything about it.
9. Paris Hilton.
10. Getting hung up on.
11. People who take themselves too seriously.
13. People who repeat the same destructive patterns of behavior and then wonder why their lives never get better.
14. Teachers. They think they’re smarter than everyone else. They’re not.
15. Blazing left-wing, tree-hugging, America-hating, flag burning, pinko liberals.
16. Uneducated, one-tooth sharing, rights-infringing, overall-wearing, bigoted, closed-minded, confederate flag waving (WTF?!?!?), fundamentalist conservatives.
17. That the leader of the free world can’t pronounce NUCLEAR.
18. The French.
19. When some snot-nosed kid or young adult doesn’t give up their subway seat for an elderly person. (Makes me want to grab them by the ear and pull them out of their seat)
20. When the bottom of my heels wear down to the nail and I end up making a metallic clink-clink sound while trying to be sexy
21. When my date pronounces the food on the menu with an accent.
22. And of course, going to the gym and running into my ex-husband.


My Life Is God's Comic Strip said...

Ummm, and bloggers that don't know how to COUNT TO 12......yeah.

MadameEx said...

Hey, give us teachers a break! I'm one who doesn't think she knows everything. The ones that do have lives that they are deeply disappointed with. They are resentful that they are teachers and their true genius has never been discovered.
Check out my blog:

Anonymous Me said...

This is wicked funny, strip--I am nearly pissing myself laughing. I love a good scathing rant every once in a while--it's cleansing, but much less messy than colonic irrigation.

Duane said...

Not sure if it's cool or scary that we agree on so many.

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