Friday, April 15, 2005

Alice in Wonderland

Random things I hear in my office on any given day:

I'm not that dumb, huh?

I want to buy cowboy boots.

What happened to all of your pencils?

I'm hoping that when you leave, I'll be able to knock the wall between our offices down. Maybe put in some french doors.

[Person X launching peas from spoon. Person Y attempting to catch airborn peas in mouth]
Y: Did you shoot already? Is it in my hair?!
X: I haven't heard someone say that in years.

The mail guy moves too fast. Should have known after watching him dance at the Christmas party. You know how those Latins are.

Me: Can I borrow your BlueBook?
X: Well, how long are you going to borrow it for? Are you going to bring it back? You're not going to keep it are you?
Me: Give me the damn book.

My first legal advice to you is that you need a psychological evaluation.

The Mets have character.
The Mets don't have character, they have mullets.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Our little Alice seems to have forgotten that some of these "random" things were precipitated by her own insanity. For example, the Bluebook conversation went something like this:
Thursday evening.
A: I'm leaving [the office]. I've got to get ready for an extended weekend of debauchery in Miami. [slight pause] Do you have a Bluebook?
X: Yes.
A: Can I have it?
X: You want to borrow a Bluebook?
A: Yes!
X: Do you need it now or when you get back?
A: NOW!
X: What are you going to do with a Bluebook in Miami?
A: GIVE ME THE DAMN BOOK!!!

Context is everything.

Granny Apple said...

"Did you shoot already? Is it in my hair?!"

HAH. I'm late on this post, but that's awesome.

And, uh, hi, I'm Granny.

Jordan, and ya don't stop said...

that whole bit with "is it in my hair?"... thats one of the funniest quotes ever.


-jordan

Anonymous said...

This really is classic