Wednesday, April 13, 2005

It's the Little Things in Life

The Ambassador to Evil is exasperated, again, by me of course. Tonight prospective hires are coming to our firm from my alma mater. We're having a little soiree for them, try to make them understand the Greatness that is this firm and why they should do whatever is necessary to claw their way into our ranks. (I really do work for an amazing firm - a hard thing to say when there are so many lawyers in close proximity. But it's true. I swear.)

I didn't RSVP to the soiree.

Secretary to the Ambassador to Evil: Why didn't you RSVP?
Me: I didn't think it was necessary.
Secretary: I've sent out FOUR emails.
Me: Listen, you sent out an email from the Ambassador. He does not make requests. It's a given that I'm coming. Just because you posed a command in the form of an invitation, doesn't make it so.
Secretary: (annoyed) Well, now you don't have a name tag.
Me: I don't? No problem, I'll just make one.
Ambassador: (running out of his office after hearing my last comment) NO! No. You can't make one. God knows what the hell you'll show up with. We'll get you a name tag. You. Are. Not. To. Make. One. Yourself.
Me: What do you think I'm going to show up with?! A piece of oak-tag tied with yarn around my neck?
Ambassador: (shaking head in resignation) I don't even want to contemplate the things that brain of yours could come up with.

So now, even though there obvioulsy won't be one, I have to invite him to the "tequila- shot table" tonight. I've never actually seen anyone have an aneurysm, but I'll be sure to post about it tomorrow.


Anonymous said...

So wait... why would they want to recruit from your alma mater? Haven't they learned their lesson.

Anonymous Me said...

I'm glad you're back and in fine, acerbic form. I missed your possts while you were tanning your ass off in Miami. Now I can cut back on the opiates I was using to get through the day.

carrotpenis said...

Was there any exciting follow up to this one. This seemed like a perfect time to ferret out the weak recruit and get them drunk for your own amusement.