Houston, We Have a Problem

"You forgot that the size of the cunt is also important (smaller is better). I have to say that you are a big fucking cunt.

And my Russian bride with a PhD is 10 times the woman than any American whiney bitch that I have ever seen. That goes double for J.A.P.!!!!"

Someone anonymously left me this comment in response to Friday's post: Size Matters, Get Over It.

Now I like to think that I'm the kind of person that can take criticism well, but if you're going to call me a big fucking cunt, you better have the balls to sign your name to it. Or else you come across as a big fucking pussy. And that's just not fun.

Dear Anonymous:
I'm sorry you're not man enough to find a bride here in America and had to resort to a mail order bride. There are many many wonderful, successful, amazing women here in the States (not necessarily all American) who would make great wives.

Also, your second to last sentence:

• And my Russian bride with a PhD is 10 times the woman than any American whiney bitch that I have ever seen,

doesn't sound quite right. Maybe you should have written:

• My Russian bride, who has a PhD, is 10 times the woman of any whiney American bitch I have ever seen.

See? Doesn't that flow better?

And I'm not sure if you're from New York or not, but it's not "That goes double for J.A.P." it's actually, "That goes double for A Jap." There should be an indefinite article before the word "Jap." I'm no English expert, I'm just saying.

Furthermore, name calling is not nice. It's really just bad manners. Especially when you're speaking to a complete stranger. I'm not sure why my post managed to get under your foreskin, but you seem pretty irritable. Have you considered yoga? Maybe meditation would be a good avenue for you to pursue. Either way, some anger management is definitely in order.

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In all seriousness, comments are always welcome. Even mean or critical comments are welcome. But ANONYMOUS mean comments will get deleted from now on. This blog is about having some laughs, it's not about bringing anyone down. If you don't like what you read, "change the channel" because you and I obviously don't have the same sense of humor. (More likely that you don't have a good sense of humor - because I'm damn funny, but that's neither here nor there.)

And now back to our regularly scheduled program.