Things to do on the weekend when your leg is in a soft cast during monsoon season:

• Scrub bathtub
• Watch E! on VH1 and then watch the same episode of E! on MTV
• Eat
• Turn on laptop borrowed from work in preparation of doing work brought home from office
• Stack four tons of paperwork brought home from office neatly next to laptop borrowed from work
• Play 37 games of spider solitaire on laptop borrowed from work in preparation of doing work brought home from office
• Eat
• Do nails
• Read introduction to Paradise Lost, turn on TV, watch infomercial selling rare and new buffalo nickels, $250 for a set of five. Consider new career in infomercials.
• Eat
• Listen to message from baby sister advising to watch a 'documentary' on my life on channel 37. Turn to channel 37. Watch Misery.
• Eat
• Play four more games of spider solitaire
• Attempt to take shower, wrap leg in towel, cover with plastic bag, secure with rubber band. Realize that cast will still get wet. Decide to take bath instead, with injured leg hanging off side of tub. Almost drown. Realize being clean is not worth my life. Get out of evil tub.
• Eat
• Talk to mom, who is on the beach in Miami with her girlfriends for the weekend
• Eat
• Eat
• Eat
• Check HBO on Demand for movies or new Sex and the City episodes. Find no movies of interest that haven't already been seen, new episodes of Sex and the City don't start until Tuesday.
• Re-check HBO on Demand three minutes later
• Seriously reconsider drowning in tub
• Eat
• Wear fat pants to work on Monday