I'm not afraid to admit it. Size matters. Oh yes, it does.
Now I'm not talking about it having the ability to cripple me, but I better be able to feel something. And I mean FEEL.
Let's be honest, the size of my ass matters. The length of my hair matters. Let's not forget the twins, Thelma and Louise. How they fill out a tight tank top matters. And I'm okay with that. But make no mistake, the male correlative is the penis, and its size is important to most women.
If you have a problem with this statement, you probably have a small pecker. But don't worry, because the size of your donger is NOT the only thing that matters to women.
For example, the size of a guy's bank account matters too. Now don't get crazy, let me say my part, and then feel free to go nuts. But in today's day and age, women are more successful than ever before, and they have the bank to prove it. Why not want a man on par?
Now I certainly don't condone those women who have nothing going on for themselves but chase men with money to secure a nice setup. (Insert Russian mail-order bride mental image here). I'm talking about the woman who works her butt off through school and at her job, and is looking for a partner.
The size of a guy's ego matters. There's a lot of swagger here in New York. And it's NOT attractive. I don't care if he can poke my eye out from across the living room with it, if he's arrogant, an eye poke is all he gets.
The size of his relationship with his mother matters. Oh dear lord, this is the worst. So many whiny, weenie, scrotum-less little boys running around, dressed up in suits. There are so many mamma's boys here in NY, and yet I'm still amazed an umbilical cord can stretch that far without breaking. I used to make little scissor motions in front of my ex's belly button. But I digress. I don't care if King Kong can climb it and swat at helicopters from the top, if a guy talks to his mom every day, I'm not going anywhere near it.
But size still matters. Because if a woman finds a great guy, and he's, um, shall we say, disappointingly endowed, that's going to be a problem. A woman may never say anything to him, but rest assured the topic is getting heavy coverage at lunch, drinks, dinner, phone calls and shopping with the girls. And the forecast is bleak.
And the motion of the ocean might help, but if you're small, I suggest you start surfing the net, asap. Once you order your bride from Russia, she'll be so happy to be here, she might wait a few months after you're married before she starts cheating on you.